Parents – keenly watching other parents – have decided NEVER to allow their children to be at any disadvantage, be it with helicopter parenting support and rushing into the school at the hint of an “unhappy” child; or materialistically! We have been caught up in a tornado of catering to every whim.
Let’s decide to stop this madness.
“I gotcha baby. What is it that you need? I will be a good mamma/pappa and get it for you” and you rush out to make “right” whatever it is that is making your little person feel offish. “Gosh imagine a child having something my child doesn’t? I am not keeping up. Bring out the credit card.”
Some readers are not going to appreciate my article, but it’s telling it like it is, in my mind anyway. Got the t-shirt. I am a keen observer of human behaviour and we are setting ourselves up for a very difficult few years ahead when these young children become teens. The demands are going to become bigger and our response to deliver far more burdensome. Your child needs to understand what “NO” means and accept it. I will write another article soon on the big fan I am of the “Because I said so” response and it being accepted in certain situations, without question. Every article I think I have every read says I must explain very calmly why I am saying No. I disagree. Although I will explain my decision most times, I don’t owe my child an explanation for any decision I make. I will have my reasons.
Anyhow, the flood of video clips of young children acting grown up and disrespectfully going viral is concerning – we are liking and smiley facing the heck out of them. So cute! Not so much!
What awaits you if you DON’T parent, i.e. say NO, demand respect, allow a little disappointment now and again and give your child conflict resolution skills instead of rushing into the school office (I am NOT referring to bullying incidents) is going to hurt – both you and your child.
The “return on investment” with children who have become Head of Households (ruling the roost at a young age) is that they will demonstrate a mediocre approach to any form of achievement, entitlement and laziness. This can literally break a parent’s heart – especially when you imagined you were doing the right thing, the most you could and being the best parent you knew how. If you are expecting this child to suddenly develop gratefulness and respect for how much your have invested in his/her life – I hope you are ready to hear this ….. it ain’t gonna happen people.
I do imagine these children at 23 wondering why opportunities, entertainment and basic foods are not dropped from the heavens into their laps. This has been the case their whole lives, after all. I may be imaging it but it seems to me that the old 18 is the new 28 – children are just not equipped to cater for their needs and are staying home for a good 10 years longer than I was allowed.
It’s okay to say that you cannot afford something, that you cannot participate in a school function because you are working or that you drive a “Skadonky” 😉 Everyone is so busy comparing each other that they really don’t see you anyway. It really is okay. It’s tough out there and my best intention is with you. Chin up.
Please download and print the Manners Boardgame I have developed for you… it’s a great way for young children to start understanding the concept of manners and fun for the whole family without a screen in sight.
Next session:
Parents doing headstands
