Good old dose of disappointment and resilience helps the medicine go down


In our attempt to be bff parents, we have not given our children the tool called Resilience. I know I know … I want to keep my daughter happy at all costs and don’t want her to ever be sad and feel like I want to do everything in my power (and sometimes beyond that) to spare her pain.  Unfortunately, this will be to her detriment and by not equipping her with the skills to cope with the harsh realities of disappointment, losing, not being perfect because you breathe, and sometimes having to be disciplined I deprive her of an essential skill. These learning experiences are necessary because you love your child:  Somewhere we lost this knowing and have been bamboozled into thinking it is our parental duty to spare our child at all costs. Parents flooding to schools demanding to see the Principal because of an “injustice” is a fast-growing trend. 

 

We have taken the very important process of honouring parents and obeying instructions away from our children.  We deny them the wonderful feeling of producing something that will make us proud through effort and persistence on their part. Because EVERYONE is a winner right?  Nope – someone is going to be better than you at something sweetie pie.  You need to guide your child to find out what it is that their strength is and to be a good sport when they take part in something that is not theirs.  The “medal” for taking part is harmful IN MY OPINION Children in pre-primary and lower grades should not be competing so this is excluded from my statement.  You do not get a medal for taking part in chemistry and high grade maths in high school … unless you PERSEVERE and WORK for it.  You get zak nothing for taking part in doing your job in a mediocre fashion in the real world (and by the way let’s prepare our darlings that they don’t leave school thinking they immediately get into management positions). This seems to surprise our youth and unless they are skilled in determination, resilience, communication, social skills, likeability and team playing, in addition to your degree or certificate, your chances of that management position are slim.  Allow your child to play and get a few skimmed knees … get up, dust themselves off and carry on.  That’s life!

 

 

 

Read this Article on benefits of Disappointment

 

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